I Want to Change the World
Do you ever wake up with a mad sense of purpose?
I never used to. I used to wake up with a mad sense of needing a cigarette. Weirdly, back then I could always find that extra 10 minutes in the morning to smoke, but when I quit, every last second in bed was more important.
Anyway, I digress, which I might do a lot in this blog. Talking about thoughts and feelings makes me uncomfortable... It’s kind of like when you’re sitting on a chair that has really hard arm rests that dig into your forearms, and the back of it is so straight that you’re sitting 5 degrees more upright than you would like to be, and the table-to-chair height ratio is off which results in perpetual crumb droppage on my stretchy jeans.
…. See, I digressed again.
I care about people, I really, really, do.
I used to be so negative about myself and others. I never had any aspirations to do anything with my life AND if I’m totally honest I was just wasting it… now I see this every day in other people. It hurts my heart because I know these people could accomplish so many amazing things and completely change their life for the better… Yet just through their personal beliefs or the people they hang around with or assholes on social media, they do nothing.
If you’re in pain, you have to move to get strong to get rid of it.
If you’re overweight, you have to eat better and move more to change that.
If you hate exercise, you have to find the physical activity that you do like – trust me, it is out there!
But it can be difficult when you first start, you’ll often be met with negative ninny’s who have “tried it before” and “didn’t work for them” and say “you might make it worse”. Really most people are in no position to tell anyone what to do, it’s just a reflection on how little they value themselves and others.
I don’t care if the “odds are stacked against you” and that “it’ll be harder for you” than everyone else, all I want to say is “if you need to work harder then you’ll appreciate it way more than anyone else ever has.”
Alongside my long list of past injuries and broken bits I also have an Autoimmune Disorder that affects all the skin on my body. When I have a flare up, I am in immense pain all the time. Chronic fatigue, skin ripping, infections and cannot move properly without feeling tight and sore, horrendously dehydrated and if I sweat it feels like acid being pushed through my skin…
But I always do whatever I can no matter how bad I feel, and sometimes it’s just 5 minutes of stretching on the stairs, before maybe going back to lie down for the fourth time that day.
If I had gym sessions planned, I would still force myself to go. They were always shit sessions and usually I was fighting back tears the entire time, but I always knew that once I was feeling better and the flare up had passed I'd be glad that I didn’t just do nothing. When I recovered and felt better, those crappy sessions meant I wasn’t starting from scratch, and I didn’t lose my good habits.
I know how hard it can be sometimes, I really do. I think the big thing that always gets me through the difficult days when I think “but I’m not like everyone else” is this:
“I don’t care, I’m gonna be like everyone else anyways. I’m not going to let my problems stop me from doing what I want to do.”
So yeah, don’t listen to people that tell you to not do things that could help you to change how you feel about yourself physically, and even mentally.
My big sense of purpose that I woke up to today is that:
“I just want to save good people from negative assholes that would have you give up before even trying”
These are internal thoughts that I have that motivate me, and I hope that it helps you too.
Have an outstanding day!
Anyway, I digress, which I might do a lot in this blog. Talking about thoughts and feelings makes me uncomfortable... It’s kind of like when you’re sitting on a chair that has really hard arm rests that dig into your forearms, and the back of it is so straight that you’re sitting 5 degrees more upright than you would like to be, and the table-to-chair height ratio is off which results in perpetual crumb droppage on my stretchy jeans.
…. See, I digressed again.
I care about people, I really, really, do.
I used to be so negative about myself and others. I never had any aspirations to do anything with my life AND if I’m totally honest I was just wasting it… now I see this every day in other people. It hurts my heart because I know these people could accomplish so many amazing things and completely change their life for the better… Yet just through their personal beliefs or the people they hang around with or assholes on social media, they do nothing.
If you’re in pain, you have to move to get strong to get rid of it.
If you’re overweight, you have to eat better and move more to change that.
If you hate exercise, you have to find the physical activity that you do like – trust me, it is out there!
But it can be difficult when you first start, you’ll often be met with negative ninny’s who have “tried it before” and “didn’t work for them” and say “you might make it worse”. Really most people are in no position to tell anyone what to do, it’s just a reflection on how little they value themselves and others.
I don’t care if the “odds are stacked against you” and that “it’ll be harder for you” than everyone else, all I want to say is “if you need to work harder then you’ll appreciate it way more than anyone else ever has.”
Alongside my long list of past injuries and broken bits I also have an Autoimmune Disorder that affects all the skin on my body. When I have a flare up, I am in immense pain all the time. Chronic fatigue, skin ripping, infections and cannot move properly without feeling tight and sore, horrendously dehydrated and if I sweat it feels like acid being pushed through my skin…
But I always do whatever I can no matter how bad I feel, and sometimes it’s just 5 minutes of stretching on the stairs, before maybe going back to lie down for the fourth time that day.
If I had gym sessions planned, I would still force myself to go. They were always shit sessions and usually I was fighting back tears the entire time, but I always knew that once I was feeling better and the flare up had passed I'd be glad that I didn’t just do nothing. When I recovered and felt better, those crappy sessions meant I wasn’t starting from scratch, and I didn’t lose my good habits.
I know how hard it can be sometimes, I really do. I think the big thing that always gets me through the difficult days when I think “but I’m not like everyone else” is this:
“I don’t care, I’m gonna be like everyone else anyways. I’m not going to let my problems stop me from doing what I want to do.”
So yeah, don’t listen to people that tell you to not do things that could help you to change how you feel about yourself physically, and even mentally.
My big sense of purpose that I woke up to today is that:
“I just want to save good people from negative assholes that would have you give up before even trying”
These are internal thoughts that I have that motivate me, and I hope that it helps you too.
Have an outstanding day!
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