There has to be a mindset shift when you are dealing with long-term pain, the mental battle is often the hardest part about the whole situation!

I’m not referring to a fresh injury pain or something that just needs a wee rub. I’m talking about chronic, inflammation-based pain. 

The type of pain that creeps in gradually over time and leaves you feeling weak.  It feels so unfair, and is often blamed on “just getting older”

I have lived with this pain!

And it started when I was in my TWENTIES!

I’ve dealt with multiple lumbar disc herniations, months of agonising back pain, leg pain that left me unable to turn in bed or walk, plus ongoing spine and hip pain from Ankylosing Spondylitis (chronic, inflammatory arthritis of the spine)

I’ve had days where I was laying in bed, unable to lift my children. 

I’ve cried trying to put trousers on.

I’ve had moments where everything felt completely hopeless.

And I realised, I needed to learn how to improve my relationship with pain, otherwise it was going to ruin my life.

But, to be completely honest with you… I don’t think I would have been able to do it if it wasn’t for my family. I felt pathetic and that I was a burden to my wife & kids so they became my reason to fight!

Your reasons might be different to mine - but you need to find the thing that lights a fire under you!!

For me that anger and shame drove me, I wanted to be someone that could be depended on, not someone to pity! 

When you’re in constant pain, dark thoughts can creep in. When they do, try to turn that energy into determination, rather than letting them pull you down!

Here’s 3 steps you can take to get yourself out of that dark place and take control over your life again!

The first decision I made was simple:

I don’t want to live like this any longer!! 

The pain was there whether I moved or stayed still. But logically, if I learn to move better and get stronger, there is less reason for the pain to be as extreme.

This was my driver to keep going, even when things hurt! 

Some days were much harder than others, but I made a new rule:

Every small step is a step towards feeling better later - and later does come!

With structural damage and chronic inflammation, you don’t have the wiggle room (no pun intended) to have tight muscles, imbalances or a lack of stability and balance! Your body feels less confident, and it just makes everything worse!

So that is your priority number 1 to work on. AND the good news is your muscles are something you can control!!

Pain from inflammation or irritated nerves will fluctuate and change day to day. If something was seriously damaged then the pain would not change! Think about a cut or a bruise, it hurts at the one spot until it heals. Because you can’t see what’s going on inside your joints it’s easy to  think you’re going to “cause more damage” if you move.

But it’s actually the opposite that is true!

Trust me, if you avoid movement, weakness will build up and will cause more issues. 

Worst case scenario? I’d rather be strong, mobile and in pain, than weak and in pain!!

It makes things more manageable.

If you have pain, you need to move and stretch more than normal people, not less!! 

Avoidance might give short term relief. but doesn’t help in the long term.

Start your day with some simple movement. While lying in bed, take a few deep, relaxing breaths, and do some gentle hip movements while lying down which help reduce that intense first standing up pain.

Next, we need to move our hips and knees using support (which could be your bed or stairs) using your hands to assist you so your body feels safe! Small slow wiggles, aim for discomfort but not intense sharp pain and slowly try to improve how far you can move your joints before pain gets more intense

Even simple joint circles throughout your day can help to reduce your pain

The key is adjusting your expectations: 

The goal is not to get your pain to 0 straight away

The goal is to reduce your pain by any amount!

If you can get from a 10/10 pain down to a 4/10, that’s a win, and you should be proud of that! 

As you get more experience changing & reducing your pain, you will improve how much you can do and reduce the amount of time it takes!

When I started, I used to get up super early and spend about an hour getting myself moving in the morning. Over a few months that dropped to only needing 10 minutes! Now, even during a flare I can function normally and my muscles don’t go into spasm.

We’re all made of the same stuff - if I can do it & have helped others to do it, then you can do it too!

This is the most important part but a lot of people miss it.

When you are feeling better you NEED to keep getting stronger!

On the good days, it’s easy to forget just how bad things can get. Most of my significant flare ups have been after long periods of resting & not training.

When your symptoms have reduced, this is the time to GET STRONG!! This is the time to build your mobility, stability and strength!!

So when the bad days come, you’re ready and starting from a much more capable and confident place!

Make friends with: 

The stronger, fitter and healthier you are, the easier it is to cope with inflammatory conditions.

Even if you hate exercise with a passion, just learning how to do simple daily movement can make such a big difference - and it becomes a lot more enjoyable when your body feels better! 

And when you’re stronger, pain becomes more of a mild annoyance rather than dictating your entire life.

When you’re in constant pain, it can feel like you’re going to be that way forever, especially if it’s been a few years already. 

BUT there are always things you haven’t tried yet! 

And most things will take you multiple tries before you feel real progress. 

That’s not failure

It’s all learning!

If you want step by step guidance the best place to start is The Simplistic Mobility Method®. I built it based on my own journey out of pain and the key things that need to be fixed first. 

If you want more knowledge around back pain then the Beginners Bundle is the best place to start.

I hope you found this helpful and wish you all the best in your journey to getting stronger and improving your relationship with pain.

Thanks for reading!

Tom